Escape to Paradise: Charming Farm Cottage Near Vielsalm, Belgium
Paradise Found? A Messy (But Honest) Review of Escape to Paradise: Charming Farm Cottage Near Vielsalm, Belgium
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from a whirlwind trip to the "Escape to Paradise" farm cottage near Vielsalm, Belgium and, well, it was an experience. Let's just say my expectations were higher than the Eiffel Tower and… well, let's just explore.
SEO & Metadata (Because You Know I Gotta):
- Title: Escape to Paradise Review: Vielsalm Farm Cottage - Honest Opinions & Quirky Details
- Keywords: Escape to Paradise, Vielsalm, Belgium, Farm Cottage, Review, Accessible, Spa, Sauna, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Pet-Friendly, Family-Friendly, Cleanliness, Safety, Things to Do, Honest, Quirky, Travel.
The Arrival: First Impressions & Accessibility (or Lack Thereof…):
First off, the name, "Escape to Paradise," is a bold move. My expectations were set astronomically high! And while the idea of paradise was definitely there, the reality was a little…rustic. Getting there was a scenic drive through the Belgian countryside – rolling hills, cows, the whole shebang. Beautiful.
Now, the accessibility. This is where things got a bit…tricky. Accessibility is listed, but let me be frank: if you have serious mobility issues, this is not your dream destination. There’s a lot of uneven ground, cobbled paths, and steps. I'd say, while they list "Facilities for Disabled Guests," I'd take that with a massive grain of Belgian sea salt. There's no mention of the slope of the road to the entrance.
The cobblestones were a real pain to walk over.
The Cottage Itself: Charm with a Side of…Dust Bunnies?
The cottage itself? Well, it was charming. Think exposed beams, a fireplace (which was AMAZING, especially after a November chill), and that classic farmhouse feel. The Room decorations were… well, they were there. A bit dated, perhaps, but in a way that added to the character. The non-smoking rooms were key to my stay I have to admit.
The biggest plus? Internet access – wireless and Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Bless the heavens. Even in the remote countryside, I could stay connected (though the connection strength varied. Just a heads-up). Internet [LAN] was also available.
The bathrooms were functional, although again, a bit dated. The separate shower/bathtub was great, and I did enjoy the Bathtub and Hair dryer. Daily housekeeping kept things tidy-ish, but I definitely spotted a few rogue dust bunnies here and there. My bad. This is not a 5-star hotel but it has some advantages that are not there in a city location.
Rooms - The Good, The Bad, and the Slippers:
The Good: Those blackout curtains were a lifesaver. Got some much-needed sleep after those long walks. The extra long bed was a plus, as I like to stretch! The in-room safe box gave me peace of mind. The satellite/cable channels were nice for a lazy evening.
The Ugly: The Mirror could have used a buff, sometimes. I would have used a Scale, but there wasn't one, sadly! The carpeting seemed a bit tired.
The Quirky: The slippers! They were so comfy, I almost took them home.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Culinary Adventure (Sometimes):
Now, let’s talk food. The A la carte in restaurant and the Buffet in restaurant were advertised. The Breakfast [buffet] had a good selection, though the “Asian breakfast” felt a bit… random in rural Belgium. The Breakfast service was great and the coffee was strong, thankfully.
I did make friends with my waiter, and learned many interesting things about the local habits.
The Bar was a cozy place to relax with a local beer. I didn't get the chance to try it out but I know one or two things about drinking alcohol. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was a constant and welcome sight.
I went to the Restaurants and the Snack bar the first day when I arrived. I got a salad. And I won't lie, it was fine. But the Western cuisine in restaurant was a bit bland for my taste. I wished I had also tried the Vegetarian restaurant as well.
The Spa & Relaxation Zone: Chasing the High (and Losing it Briefly):
Okay, the spa… this was a MAJOR selling point for me. I was really looking forward to the Spa/sauna experience. The Pool with view made for a glorious experience.
And… it was decent. The Spa itself was lovely. The Steamroom did make me feel good. The Sauna was, unfortunately, a bit crowded at times, but the Swimming pool [outdoor] and Swimming pool were lovely.
I had a Massage and it was pure bliss. A complete and total highlight. I wanted a Foot bath. The Body scrub and Body wrap were a great touch.
Cleanliness and Safety: A Mixed Bag (Mostly Good, Though):
I appreciated the Anti-viral cleaning products. The Daily disinfection in common areas was reassuring. The staff seemed well-trained in the many and changing safety protocols.
I had to pay with Cashless payment service which was a big plus.
Things to Do: Keeping Busy (Or Not):
There's a definite "laid-back" vibe here. The options are there, for getting outside!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things (and Some Big Ones):
The 24-hour Front desk was a lifesaver with my late arrival!
For the Kids: Not My Department, But…
I didn't travel with kids, but the “Family/child friendly” label is there, as well as Babysitting service.
The Nitty-Gritty (The Stuff You Really Want to Know):
- Value for Money: Okay, the price felt slightly high for what I got.
- Would I Go Back? Hmm… probably. If I needed a truly relaxing escape and wanted to be closer to nature, I'd consider it again.
Final Verdict: Paradise with a Few Bumps
"Escape to Paradise" is a charming, rustic getaway. It has its flaws, definitely. And the accessibility claims need a serious rethink. But, if you're looking for a peaceful escape with a few bells and whistles, and you're not expecting absolute perfection, it could be a good fit. Just adjust your expectations accordingly, and maybe pack your own slippers.
Escape to Paradise: Your Luxurious Sauna Chalet in Hohentauern, Austria!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's perfectly polished itinerary. We're going to Vielsalm, Belgium, to a farm and a cottage. And trust me, after this, you'll need a vacation from your vacation. Here we go:
The Great Vielsalm Adventure (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mud)
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (the delicious, cheesy kind)
- Morning (or, Maybe, Late Morning. I am not a morning person.): Brussels Airport. Ugh. The usual chaos. Lost luggage? Nope, thankfully. But my inherent fear of public transportation flared up like a rash. Found the train, barely. Scrambled, sweating, and muttering about the inherent unreliability of modern life. Victory! (Small one, but I'll take it.)
- Afternoon: Train to Vielsalm. The scenery was lovely, I guess. Rolling green hills. Cows. (Cows everywhere. More on them later.) A guy across from me kept eating what looked suspiciously like a cheese wheel. The smell! Heavenly. Started fantasizing about the cheese wheel. Then, panicked because I hadn’t packed enough snacks. Again.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Found the cottage! Pleasant Cottage, they called it. Right. As I drove in, my GPS crapped out. Naturally. Ended up bumping over a field and narrowly missing a particularly judgmental-looking donkey. (He’s watching you. I felt it.) Finally, got the keys. The cottage itself… well, it's cozy. Like, really cozy. The kind of cozy that borders on "slightly claustrophobic." But there's a fireplace! And a welcome basket, which is all good things.
- Evening: The true test. Unpacking. Settling in. Trying to light the fire. Failed miserably. Ended up ordering a pizza. (Okay, more like two pizzas. It was a long day.) Ate pizza in front of a flickering, hopefully-not-going-to-burn-down-the-house, kind of fire. The fire was stubborn. Felt my anxiety easing, slightly. This is what they call a vacation, right?
Day 2: Cows, Cheese, and Existential Cheese-Wheel Regret
- Morning (Still not a morning person, but at least I woke up.): Woke up because… you guessed it… the cows. They’re LOUD. Honestly, thought I was back in my hometown. Anyway, coffee, which I desperately needed. I found a local market. The cheese-wheel guy! He was there! And his cheese looked even better up close. Bought a kilo (one of my best decisions). Then, walked around the farm. The smells. Oh, the smells. Definitely worth the price of admission and a box of Zyrtec. (Okay, maybe two.)
- Midday: Driving in the area, found a cute vintage shop (and spent way too much money than I had originally planned on).
- Afternoon: Tried to hike. Failed, but I saw a waterfall. (It was a small waterfall, but still) So, I sat and stared, feeling the spray on my face. Then got distracted by a particularly plump bumblebee and ended up chasing it for half an hour. My fitness level is… questionable. Back to the cottage and indulged in the cheese wheel. This cheese is the best cheese I have ever eaten. The perfect consistency!
- Evening: Decided to channel my inner chef. Cooked a simple meal (okay, okay, I opened a can of soup). Then, played cards in front of the fire. Lost. Badly. Humiliated myself by trying to bluff. This is what they call relaxation, right?
Day 3: The Fortress & Beer & Complete and Utter Peace (briefly)
- Morning: Visited the ruins. The "castle" in Vielsalm. It was scenic, but slightly underwhelming after the cheese. Spent a while taking pictures. Was almost blown away by the wind. (Didn't want the donkey to judge me anymore.)
- Afternoon: Found a local brewery. The beer was amazing. Sat outside, basking in the sun, utterly content. For approximately five minutes. Then, started worrying about whether I’d packed enough socks. Also, had a craving for cheese wheel.
- Late Afternoon: Back at the cottage. Read a book. Felt a sense of… peace. Like, true, unadulterated peace. It was, dare I say, blissful.
- Evening: Tried to cook. Set off the smoke alarm. Again with the pizza! Pizza and beer and bliss. All in the best and simplest way. I'm finally enjoying the simplicity.
Day 4: Departure & the Inevitable Meltdown (delayed, but inevitable)
- Morning (or, Let’s Be Honest, Noon): Packing. The bane of my existence. Tried to squeeze everything into my bag. Fail. Again. Started panicking about the train. About the flight. About everything. Cheese wheel, fortunately, made it out of the cabin bag! Decided a last-minute walk around the farm was needed.
- Afternoon: Farewell, donkey. Good-bye, cows. Good-bye, cozy cottage! Now, it's the road to Brussels. Oh yeah, I forgot to fill up the tank. I will leave the details of that adventure out.
- Evening: Brussels Airport. Chaos. Absolute, delightful chaos. My flight was delayed. Started crying. Not my finest hour. Found solace with a beer and a cheese sandwich. (Because, priorities!)
- Night: On the plane. The cheese still alive and well. Actually, the trip was… magical. Even with the chaos. Even with the donkey judging me and the lack of socks. I am taking a bit of Vielsalm home with me.
Overall Assessment:
Would I go back? Absolutely. Would I pack more snacks? Probably. Will I ever master the art of building a fire? Unlikely. But damn, that cheese… that cheese was worth it. And that is the life of traveling.
Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Florenville Villa with Private Pool!
Escape to Paradise: Charming Farm Cottage Near Vielsalm - The Unfiltered FAQs
Okay, so... "Charming Farm Cottage?" Is it REALLY charming, or just... quaint in that charming-because-it's-falling-apart kind of way?
Alright, honesty time: it's *mostly* charming. Think slightly wonky floors, the kind of fireplace that probably hasn't been updated since the Stone Age, and a kitchen that's seen better days. (Seriously, the fridge sounded like it was trying to build a spaceship. Took about 45 minutes to get it to a reasonable temperature and stop making that worrying, high-pitched whine). But the wonkiness? It adds character! The fireplace? We cuddled up in front of it every night with a bottle of wine, feeling like medieval royalty. The kitchen? We actually *enjoyed* cooking – although I did discover a family of spiders living behind the oven, so... mixed bag. *shudders* It's definitely more "lived-in" than "magazine-ready".
What's the deal with the "Near Vielsalm" bit? How far is "near," exactly? Because I'm not exactly trying to hike through the Ardennes in a blizzard.
"Near" is a relative term, my friend. Vielsalm itself is like, a 5-minute drive. Groceries? Easy peasy. Restaurants? Plenty! Getting there? The drive itself is lovely. Winding roads, trees everywhere... Beautiful, but also, if you're prone to car sickness, bring the Dramamine. I swear, the first time we went, my stomach thought it was on a roller coaster. I had to pull over to catch my breath a few times. We are talking to the best travel experience with nature.
The listing mentions a "farm." Animals? Because I'm picturing myself trying to sleep through a chorus of rooster crowing at 4 am.
Ah, the farm. Okay, so, it's not *exactly* a working farm, but there are neighbors with horses (gorgeous, majestic beasts that I spent way too long staring at), and I *think* there were chickens somewhere in the distance. But the rooster situation? Surprisingly minimal! We were mostly spared from the early morning wake-up calls. One morning, though, I swear I heard a goat… it sounded like it was singing opera. Honestly, I'd pay to hear that goat again. I still cannot believe how much funnier that was.
What about the inside? Is it cozy or cold? Because I'm picturing myself shivering in a draughty old stone building.
Cozy! Absolutely cozy! Like, sinking-into-a-giant-comfy-blanket, book-and-a-cup-of-tea-in-front-of-the-fire kind of cozy. The stone walls are thick, so it holds the heat pretty well. The fireplace is a *game changer*. I did wear a big sweater most of the time, but I'm always cold. The bed was comfortable. The linens smelled divine. And the place just *felt*… welcoming. It was nice. Oh, and the bathroom? Surprisingly modern, despite everything. Definitely a plus.
Okay, let's get to the practical stuff. Is there Wi-Fi? Because I'm a social media addict and need to post those Instagrammable sunsets!
Yes, there is Wi-Fi! But... think of it as "rustic broadband." It works, most of the time. Don't expect lightning-fast streaming. Actually, I *did* get the chance to disconnect a little, which was great, because I'm more addicted to my phone than I care to admit. There were times when the connection would drop out completely. I actually loved that, though. Forced me to actually *talk* to my partner rather than scrolling endlessly. You know, that whole "being present" thing you keep hearing about.
What about the surroundings? Is there anything to *do* besides stare at the fireplace and contemplate the meaning of life?
Oh, absolutely! Hiking trails galore! We spent an entire afternoon getting lost in the woods (in a good way!). Lots of scenic drives. There are charming little villages nearby to explore. We did go to a brewery – oh, the beer! *Sigh*. I definitely recommend that. And the area is beautiful. And if you're into skiing, I *think* there's a ski resort nearby in winter. We went off-season, so I can't personally vouch, but I saw some ads. And here’s the thing: it really depends on what you're looking for. If you want non-stop action and nightlife, this is not the place for you. But if you crave peace, quiet, fresh air, and a chance to just *be*… then it’s pretty perfect.
My partner snores. Loudly. Is this a problem?
Okay, I’m not gonna lie, this is a crucial question! The walls aren't exactly soundproof. If your partner sounds like a chainsaw, I'd suggest bringing earplugs, a white noise machine, or both. My partner doesn't snore *too* badly, but one night I had to start sleeping in another room, just to get some rest. It’s a farmhouse, not a soundproof recording studio. And I’d suggest you do that, otherwise, that’s a dealbreaker. But hey, if you get a good night's sleep, you'll agree!
Any other little quirks or things to be aware of? Hidden landmines?
Okay, prepare yourself for this: the water pressure in the shower is a little… optimistic. Don't expect a power wash. It's more of a gentle drizzle, which, honestly, wasn't the end of the world. Also, I had a run-in with a particularly aggressive spider in the bathroom, so… just watch out. And the road to the cottage is a bit bumpy in places, so don't bring your low-rider. Otherwise, it's pretty smooth sailing. And remember to bring snacks. ALWAYS bring snacks. I forgot and spent one afternoon suffering.
Would you go back? And, if so, is there anything you'd do differently?
Absolutely, I'd go back! In a heartbeat. Even with the slightly dodgy Wi-Fi and the spider situation. Next time, though, I'd pack:
- More earplugs (for the partner, and my own peace of mind).
- A stronger bug spray (justStay Finder ReviewPleasant cottage in the heart of a farm in activity not far from Vielsalm Vielsalm BelgiumPleasant cottage in the heart of a farm in activity not far from Vielsalm Vielsalm Belgium
