Oberkirchen Oasis: Stunning Holiday Home w/ Garden in Germany!
Oberkirchen Oasis: My Brain Dump on a German Getaway (That May or May Not Have Been Paradise)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I’m about to unleash a review of Oberkirchen Oasis that’s less "professional travel writer" and more "slightly caffeinated human struggling to remember everything". This place… well, it was an experience. Let's dive in, shall we?
SEO & Metadata Juggling Act (Ugh, the Basics):
Keywords: Oberkirchen Oasis, Germany, Holiday Home, Garden, Wheelchair Accessible, Spa, Sauna, Swimming Pool, Restaurants, Family Friendly, Wifi, Pet Friendly (ish), Luxury, Reviews, Oberkirchen, Accommodation, Vacation Rental, Germany, Spa, Wellness, Relaxation, Hotel.
Meta Description (Just in case anyone cares): Unfiltered review of Oberkirchen Oasis, a Germany Holiday Home with stunning views, spa facilities, and potential for both relaxation and mild chaos. Find out if it lives up to the hype (and if my sanity survived!).
First Impressions & Accessibility – The Ramp, the Reality, and My Bad Knee:
Okay, so the website promised accessibility. "Wheelchair accessible" they chirped. And, bless their hearts, there WAS a ramp. A real, honest-to-goodness, ramp! That made my slightly dodgy knee (thanks, aging!) breathe a sigh of relief. However, maneuvering the bags and the ramp at the same time? Let's just say it was an Olympic sport that no one, including me, wants to see. Accessibility score? 7/10. It’s a start, but a little more elbow grease on the details wouldn't hurt.
Speaking of details: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yes! Essential for my crippling Instagram addiction. And internet [LAN] available… who uses that anymore?
The Room Itself: A Cozy…Cave?
My room was… interesting. They call it "stunning" on the site. I'd say "cozy." Okay, maybe "compact." It had all the basics: Air conditioning (bliss!), Blackout curtains (Hallelujah!), Free Wifi (THANK YOU!), and – drumroll please – a mini-bar! (I may or may not have raided it for emergency chocolate).
There was a private bathroom, which is always a win. Separate shower/bathtub? Double win, if you like to sit and stew in your thoughts like me. Oh, and the bed? Extra long! Which was good, because even though I'm not that tall, I've got a serious spread-out-while-sleeping problem.
However… The décor was a little… "rustic." Think “grandma's attic meets modern minimalism.” Not bad, just… unexpected. And the window that opens? Well, it opened, yeah. And probably into a place where some poor soul had to climb up the walls and adjust the window in case of a rainstorm (did that happen?).
The Spa: Promises, Promises… and Saunas! (Oh, Glorious Saunas!)
Now, the spa. THAT’S where the Oberkirchen Oasis really tried to shine. Pool with a view? Check. Sauna? Double check! Steamroom? You betcha! There was a whole menu of treats: Body scrubs, body wraps, massages… Honestly, the list was so long, I started feeling stressed just reading it.
I opted for the, you know, the safe bet: sauna. And oh. My. God. The sauna. It was… divine. Possibly the highlight of the entire vacation. I spent a solid hour sweating out all my worries and just… existing. Okay, I peeked at my phone (the internet in the sauna was not working!). The spa/sauna was an absolute win.
Things To Do… Besides Lazing Around (Which I Basically Did):
The website boasts a load of "Things To Do." They really did. I think. However, I barely left my room. (And that's totally okay, sometimes you need to do nothing! I think…).
However, let’s try and remember…
- Fitness center? I think I saw a treadmill once, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't moving any time soon after I saw it.
- Gym/fitness?, and other facilities, also the same as the fitness center.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]? Oh, yeah. The one. It looked alright. I mean, it was water-colored.
- Meeting/banquet facilities? Maybe, didn't go or see or attend any.
- Audio visual equipment for special events? Yeah… didn't see that either.
- Outdoor venue for special events? Again, maybe…
- Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meetings, On-site event hosting, Projector/LED display, Safe deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, and Terrace All, like, available.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Food… Was Food.
So, food. The hotel's restaurant situation… was, well, there was a restaurant. And a bar. And they had various options, A la carte, buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea, Desserts, International cuisine, Salad, Soup, Western breakfast, and Western cuisine, Breakfast [buffet], and a Poolside bar.
I sampled some of the Asian cuisine in restaurant, that the site assured me, because… why not. It wasn't bad. It wasn't life-changing. It was perfectly edible. Maybe a tad overpriced? (I blame the euro zone). Also, there was Room service [24-hour] available, but like a zombie, I was too lazy to order.
The breakfast [buffet] was a solid affair. Breakfast takeaway service. Always a plus. Not too many issues. I do remember a bottle of water. Yes, a bottle of water. Coffee/tea in restaurant, too.
Cleanliness & Safety: Pandemic Preparedness (And My Mild Paranoia)
The Oberkirchen Oasis REALLY took safety seriously. Which, in the current climate, is a huge plus. Anti-viral cleaning products, check. Daily disinfection in common areas, and Rooms sanitized between stays? Absolutely. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol? Guaranteed. Cashless payment service? Easy peasy.
I even saw Sterilizing equipment. Honestly, it was a bit overkill. I mean, I'm not that germophobic, but I appreciated the effort. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, I trusted every step of the way!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things (That Mattered)
- Concierge? Helpful folks, mostly. They helped me find the actual path to my room!
- Laundry service? Yes, but more like "expensive laundry service."
- Dry cleaning? Yep.
- Luggage storage? They stored my bags.
- Air conditioning in public area? Yes, thank the heavens.
- Elevator? Yes.
For the Kids: Family Friendly? (Probably, But I Didn’t Test It)
The site mentioned Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal. I had no kids. I'm sure it’s fine! Probably. I didn't see any kids.
The Quirks, the Imperfections, and My Overall Verdict:
Oberkirchen Oasis wasn’t perfect. There were a few quirks. The décor. The ramp. The slightly… detached… experience. But it had a certain charm, a certain "I’m trying my best" vibe that I couldn't help but find endearing. The spa was a lifesaver, the food was good enough, and the staff, despite everything, was genuinely kind. Yes, the location: The beautiful.
Would I go back? Eh… maybe. If I needed a good sauna and a break from reality, absolutely. But next time, I'd maybe rent a room in my own house and give myself the spa treatment! (Final Score: 7.5/10. Could be better; could be worse. You will certainly relax if you have one of those sauna sessions!)
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Bad Elster Apartment Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned trip to the Black Forest. This is… my memory dump of a weekend in Oberkirchen, Schmallenberg, in a very lovely holiday home. Let's see if I can actually make sense of it…
Oberkirchen: Holiday Home Hellos and Happily Ever Afters (Mostly)
Day 1: Arrival and the Urgent Need for Beer
14:00 - 15:00: Arrival, Key Hunt, and Instant Panic: So, picture this: me, fresh off a surprisingly smooth drive (miracles do happen), and the holiday home. Website photos? Lies, all lies… in a good way! It's way bigger, way more charming than the pictures suggest. The garden? Glorious. The only problem? The key wasn't where the instructions said. Cue frantic search, which naturally led to discovering the kids had raided the snack stash before we'd even unpacked. Honestly, a crime against humanity. Finally found the key, wedged under a… well, let's just say it was a strategically placed gnome figurine. Victory!
15:00 - 16:00: Settling In and the Quest for Provisions: Okay, unpacked (ish). House is gorgeous, a perfect, slightly-too-perfect, holiday home. Now, food. Seriously, the journey had me fantasizing about bratwurst and sauerkraut. And beer. Urgent beer need. Found the local supermarket, a blur of German efficiency and produce I couldn't identify. Emerged victorious (and slightly overwhelmed) with enough supplies to feed a small army… and a whole rack of Pilsner.
16:00 - 18:00: Garden Bliss and Kid Chaos: This is where the good stuff began. The garden. Oh my god, the garden! Sun, birdsong, and enough space for the kids to unleash their inner savages. Until little Timmy decided to "explore" the rose bushes. (He’s now friends with a bandage. Shrug.) But the rest of the evening? Magic. Sipping a cold beer, watching the sun dip below the hills, pretending I wasn't still mentally listing all the things I'd forgotten to pack. Life felt almost perfect.
18:00 - 20:00: Cooking Debacle and a Very Important Dinner: Remember those supplies I bought? Yeah, turns out my German cooking skills are about as good as my German language skills: non-existent. Dinner? A slightly charred attempt at sausages and something vaguely resembling potato salad. But you know what? It tasted amazing after the fresh air and the beer. We eat outside, and I realize: I didn't plan for mosquitos.
20:00 - Bedtime: Stargazing and the Sweet Relief of Silence: After finally getting the kids tucked in (and bribed to stay there), I stepped back outside. The stars! Absolutely incredible, the kind you can only see far from city lights. Felt a deep, pure feeling of peace, the kind you forget exists until you stumble upon it. Maybe. Or maybe it was just the beer. Either way, good night!
Day 2: Adventures in Schmallenberg and the Great Bread Crisis
08:00 - 09:00: Morning Madness and the Bread Predicament: Awake! I'm not sure what woke me first, the kids charging into our room like a tiny, sugar-fueled cavalry, or the realization that we were out of fresh bread, and therefore facing a tragedy. No bread = no breakfast. Seriously.
09:00 - 11:00: Exploring Schmallenberg and Accidental Shopping: Schmallenberg! Beautiful town, cobblestone streets, half-timbered houses that look straight out of a fairy tale. We wandered, got slightly lost, and stumbled upon a local bakery. Bread! The best bread. I bought so much, the baker gave me a slightly suspicious look. (I think my German had improved.) We also stopped by a local shop filled with cuckoo clocks and lederhosen, and the kids were captivated. I, on the other hand, was too distracted trying to not drool at the thought of my bread.
11:00 - 14:00: Hiking (Sort Of) and Nature's Delight: We attempted a hike. "Attempted" being the operative word. We found a lovely trail, complete with babbling brooks and stunning views. The kids lasted approximately 20 minutes before complaining about the "uphillness" and the general existence of bugs. We ended up building a den out of sticks and leaves, which, I must admit, was actually pretty fun.
14:00 - 16:00: The (Slightly Chaotic) Return to the Holiday Home and Naptime (For Me): Back home. The kids were bouncing off the walls, still fueled by sugar and fresh air. I needed a nap. Desperately. Managed to sneak in a blissful hour while the husband attempted to wrangle the offspring in the garden.
16:00 - 18:00: The Perfect Afternoon and Epic Board Game Battle: This is where the trip really peaked. Sunlight filtering through the windows, the aroma of fresh bread (still!), and a seriously competitive game of… something. Don't Ask (it was some new, complex board game the kids were very excited about). Surprisingly, I won! (Victory is sweet.)
18:00 - 20:00 Dinner and a Beer-Soaked Evening: More sausages! More beer! Dinner with the family, and I feel like I'm living a dream.
20:00 - Bedtime: The Most Wonderful Evening and Sweet Dreams: The evening was spent relaxing.
Day 3: Farewell and the Longing for More
09:00 - 10:00: Packing and the Sad Reality of Leaving: Okay, packing. The worst part. Always an uphill battle against the forces of untidiness. Managed to get everything (mostly) back in the car.
10:00 - 11:00: Last Glance and a Moment of Pure Regret: One last walk around the garden, one last long look at the house. A wave of sadness washed over me. I didn't want to leave. This place… it was special.
11:00 - Departure and the Sweetest of Promises: Goodbye, Oberkirchen! Goodbye, Schmallenberg! Goodbye, lovely holiday home. We'll be back, I promise. (As long as the kids behave next time.)
So there you have it. My messy, honest, and slightly chaotic memory dump of a weekend. It wasn't perfect, far from it. There was chaos, minor injuries, and a whole lot of beer. But it was real. And, you know what? It was perfect in its own imperfect way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm already planning the next trip.
Willingen Terrace Paradise: Your Dream Apartment Awaits!
Okay, so Oberkirchen Oasis...does it *actually* live up to the hype? Because the pictures are suspiciously perfect.
Alright, let's be real. I'm a sucker for a beautifully curated photo. And Oberkirchen Oasis? The photos are gorgeous. Seriously, Instagram-worthy at every corner. But here's the *truth* - it's even better in person. I mean, the photos don't smell like freshly cut grass (which the garden definitely does!), or the rich, earthy scent of the forest just a stone's throw away. They don't show the way the light filters through the ancient trees in the morning, creating these dancing shadows on the stone patio.
I was nervous, though. You know, the whole "too good to be true" thing. And yes, there was one tiny, *tiny* imperfection. The coffee maker... it took me a solid 20 minutes to wrangle into submission the first morning. I swear, I fiddled with it, swore at it (under my breath, of course… mostly). But hey, once I figured it out, the coffee was divine. So, yeah, it's awesome. Go. Just go.
That Garden...is it as big as they say? And, you know, *is* it nice to just… be in?
Oh, the garden. Okay, here's where things get… well, let's just say I have a story. Yes, the garden is HUGE. Like, "could-get-lost-and-forget-where-you-parked-the-car" huge. Which is a *fantastic* problem to have, let me tell you. I spent an entire afternoon just wandering, exploring every little nook and cranny. My partner, bless his heart, thought I’d been kidnapped or eaten by a particularly hungry gnome (there are *lots* of fairytale-esque sculptures).
But the *beating heart* of the garden, the thing that made it truly special… it's the silence. The absolute, glorious silence. The only sounds were the birds, occasionally a distant church bell, and the gentle breeze rustling through the leaves. I sat on that little wooden bench under the apple tree for hours, just… breathing. It felt like a total reset button. Then, I finally had to call it a day, because, you know, it was getting chilly. Also, I had to pee. You never know these things from the ads.
Is it actually *in* the middle of nowhere? Will I be bored? (And what about grocery shopping?)
"Middle of nowhere" is putting it mildly. And I *loved* it. Okay, so it's secluded. Really secluded. Your phone will probably have about two bars. Embrace it. Leave that darned phone in another room. I did, and felt better and clearer than in a decade.
Will you be bored? Absolutely not. There are hiking trails galore, charming little villages to explore (seriously adorable, I swear I almost adopted a goat), and the sheer peace and quiet is a luxury in itself. Plus, that's the point! But yes, you need to plan for groceries. There is a decent-sized supermarket about a fifteen-minute drive away. Just make sure you've got a list, or you'll end up wandering around like a zombie, buying all the gummy bears. (I may or may not have done this.) We got some local sausages and bread though and had a fantastic picnic! Worth it!
The fireplace! Looks cosy. Does it actually *work*?
YES! The fireplace is the ultimate perk! And yes, it works beautifully. Seriously, it's the kind of fireplace dreams are made of. I mean, logs, the crackle of the fire, a bottle of local wine... it's pure, unadulterated bliss. I spent one entire evening curled up on the sofa with a book, the fire blazing, and my feet getting warm. It was that perfect *thing*.
I did, however, nearly set the fire alarm off on the first night, because I didn't open the flue properly! It was a smoky situation for a few minutes, and let me tell you, I panicked. But hey, we survived. And the next night, I was a pro. Just… you know, pay attention to the details. Heh.
What's the kitchen situation like? (I like to cook, but I'm also lazy.)
The kitchen? Good question. It's not a Michelin-star chef's kitchen, but it has everything you need, and it's charming. There's a good-sized fridge, a dishwasher (thank the heavens!), a decent oven, and all the basic utensils. I even created a "masterpiece" one night. It involved local ingredients and wine. I won't say it was pretty, but it tasted fantastic.
It’s clean, well-stocked, and easy to navigate, so you can get away with a quick pasta and a cup of tea or even get a real meal going. Not the fanciest, but absolutely functional, and that's all I wanted.
Okay, what's the *worst* thing about the place? Seriously, give it to me straight.
Alright, fine. The absolute *worst* thing? Leaving. Ugh, seriously. Tears were shed on departure day. And honestly, the only other thing I could think of was a tiny, almost inconsequential detail: the lack of proper blinds in the master bedroom. Morning light! It's beautiful, and I loved it, but I like sleeping in a bit. It was a minor problem, though. More like a "hmm, should have brought an eye mask" kind of thing, not a dealbreaker by any means.
Would you go back? And, be honest.
Would I go back? Are you kidding me? Yes! Absolutely, unequivocally, YES! I'm already planning the next trip. Right now! I'm thinking autumn, maybe when the leaves are at their peak color. Or perhaps in winter, snuggled up by that fireplace I mentioned. It's a truly special place. I'd recommend it to pretty much anyone who needs a dose of peace, nature, and a little bit of magic. Just… go. You won't regret it. Unless you hate silence and beautiful things. Which, if you do, why are you even reading this?!
