Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Holiday in a Historic Dutch Schoolhouse!
Escape to Paradise: A Messy, Beautiful Review of Your Dream Holiday in a Historic Dutch Schoolhouse! (Spoiler: It’s Mostly Awesome!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a trip to the "Escape to Paradise" Dutch schoolhouse, and I'm here to spill the (deliciously brewed) tea. Forget the perfectly polished travel blogs; this is the real deal, warts and all. And trust me, after a week there, I have a few… delightful… warts to share.
Metadata & SEO Stuff (Don't worry, they're paying me, I gotta.):
- Keywords: Dutch Schoolhouse Hotel, Paradise Getaway, Spa Hotel, Accessible Hotel, Family-Friendly Resort, Luxury Vacation, Historical Hotel, Netherlands Travel, Wellness Retreat, Spa, Heated Pool, Free Wifi, Romantic Getaway, Unique Accommodation, Wheelchair Accessible, Pet Friendly (Important caveat later!), Restaurant, Bar, Fitness Center, Massage, Sauna, Steam Room, Swimming Pool, Child Care, Airport Transfer.
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of "Escape to Paradise," a unique Dutch schoolhouse hotel. Unfiltered opinions on accessibility, spa experiences, food, cleanliness, and whether it really is a dream holiday. Prepare for laughs, tears, and maybe a little envy.
Preamble: First Impressions (and a near-disaster involving a rogue suitcase…)
Honestly, pulling up to the "Escape to Paradise" was a moment. You get that "whaaat?" feeling, in the best way. It's a proper, ancient schoolhouse, all red brick and gabled roof, nestled in… well, I'm not gonna give away the precise location, because part of the charm is the feeling of being somewhere secret. The history just oozes out of the walls. You can practically feel the chalk dust and the ghosts of bored schoolchildren. (Don’t judge, I have a vivid imagination.) My first impression was, "This is going to be amazing…or a complete disaster." Spoiler alert: it was both.
Before I even made it inside, my suitcase, on a mission to destroy itself, decided to take a dive down a small embankment. I wrestled it back up like a prize-winning wrestler, sweating and grumbling. Then, a smiling valet appeared, whisking away my now-damaged luggage. Score! That's the kind of service that makes you feel like you're actually escaping.
Accessibility (Because, hey, it matters!)
Right, listen up, because this is important. They say accessible, right? And they mention facilities for disabled guests. Okay, in general, the public areas were decent. Ramps, elevators. But the crucial thing is: check on the exact specifications before you book. My partner uses a wheelchair, and while the main areas were good, maneuvering in the rooms could be a squeeze. The bathroom doors? Let's just say you might need a contortionist friend to assist. The staff was incredibly helpful (more on that later), but it's always best to know the nitty-gritty before arrival. Seriously, ask! Find out about door widths, and the exact measurements.
Rooms: Cozy, Quaint, and Occasionally Confusing
My Room: Okay, let's talk about the rooms. I booked a non-smoking room, because I'm trying to get my life together, a high-floor room, with extra long bed, and interconnecting room(s) available (the last one was for my friends). The rooms are… charming. Think exposed beams, original (I assume) windows, and a general sense of "We've been doing this for a while." The decor is a mix of antique chic and, well, "stuff." Some might call it cluttered; I called it character. The bed? Divine. Seriously, I could have slept for a week. Blackout curtains? YES! And free bottled water? Always a win. I was especially delighted with the complimentary tea and coffee maker. The little things, you know?
My friends' rooms: They had an interconnecting rooms with a lot of space. They were happy. They had a lot of space.
I also loved the small details, like the plush bathrobes, the alarm clock, the hair dryer (super important!), and the in-room safe box.
**Oh, and the Wi-Fi? Free and (mostly) reliable. I needed to get a little work done, and it was okay. The signal wasn't always super strong (I blame those thick, ancient walls), but it worked. **
Cleanliness and safety:
They appear to have taken the COVID thing seriously, which is a relief. There's hand sanitiser, and the staff all seemed trained up. The room was super clean at arrival. They have anti-viral cleaning products, and offer room sanitization opt-out. There's a Smoke detector.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (Mostly)
Okay, the food. This is where things get… interesting.
- Restaurants: There are proper restaurants, plural! One for international and Western Cuisine, and one for Vegetarian and Asian Cuisine.
- Asian Cuisine: I adore Asian food, but the kitchen there seemed to be a little confused. I expected an authentic experience when I ordered, but it felt too Westernized.
- The Buffet: The buffet in the restaurant was pretty decent. Good choice of breakfast items.
- The Bar: There's a bar. It has a happy hour. That is… all I need to know. The cocktails weren't exactly award-winning, but they were potent and the bartender was great.
- Coffee Shop: The coffee shop had good coffee, which is all that matters.
- 24-hour Room Service: It was worth every single penny.
Things to Do: Spa Days, Swimming, and Maybe a Few Tears of Joy
- The Spa: Okay, the spa. This is where "Escape to Paradise" really shines. I mean, wow. The treatments… I had a massage that almost made me weep with happiness. They have a pool with a great view. They have a sauna, and a steam room. They have a body scrub and a body wrap. I was in heaven. It’s a proper spa, designed to melt your stress into a puddle on the floor.
- The Pool: Outdoor pool and view? Top marks. The pool area is beautiful, with plenty of sun loungers and a relaxed vibe. Perfect for a lazy afternoon, or an early morning swim.
- Fitness Center/Gym: Okay, I saw the fitness center. I walked the treadmill. I walked back out. It's functional, but honestly, after the spa and the cocktails, I needed a nap.
- Ways to Relax: The main way to relax… is just being there. Reading on the terrace. Wandering around the grounds. Doing absolutely nothing. It's bliss.
Services and Conveniences (The Good, The Bad, and The Extra Towels)
- Daily Housekeeping: Excellent! They even left little chocolates on the pillow, which, frankly, is bribery.
- Concierge: Super helpful. They arranged everything, from dinner reservations to taxi services, and they had an impeccable sense of humor.
- Doorman: There is one. He is very nice.
- Luggage Storage: Used it. Worked great. (Remember the suitcase incident? Yeah, they took care of it.)
- Car Park: Free, spacious, and easy to access.
- Airport Transport: Very reliable.
For the Kids (If You Have 'Em, I Didn't)
There's a babysitting service. They have a kids meal. I saw a few little ones enjoying the pool and the green space.
Getting Around:
- Airport Transfer: Convenient and reliable.
- Car Park: Free and ample.
- Taxi: Always available.
The Imperfections (Because Life Isn't a Perfect Instagram Filter)
- The Internet: As I mentioned, the Wi-Fi could be patchy in the rooms. A minor annoyance, but still.
- One Slightly Shaky Incident: One evening, the fire alarm went off. It was quite loud. It was a false alarm. But it did add a bit of drama to the evening.
- The Pet Situation: Although the description says "Pets allowed," this is currently incorrect. I was incredibly disappointed – and my furry friend was even more so when he couldn’t come along.
Emotional Reaction: Overwhelmingly Positive, With a Few Quibbles.
Look, "Escape to Paradise" isn't perfect. No place is. But it’s got something special. It's got character. It's got charm. It's got a spa that will make you forget all your troubles. It's got staff who genuinely seem to care about your experience. It’s a place where you can truly escape.
Would I go back? Absolutely. In a heartbeat. Just… next time, I’ll double-check the wheelchair accessibility before booking, pack extra chargers, and maybe leave my suitcase at home. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Holiday Home by Robertville Lake, Waimes, Belgium
Okay, okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're NOT just planning a trip to a "comfortable holiday home in a former school in Hindeloopen, Netherlands." We're attempting to survive a trip to a comfortable holiday home that used to house tiny humans, in a town that probably smells overwhelmingly of… well, let’s find out, shall we? Here's the glorious, messy, and likely hilarious plan:
The Hindeloopen Hooligan Holiday: A Stream-of-Consciousness Itinerary (with a dash of chaos)
Day 1: Arrival & "Good God, This is BIG"
- Morning (or what passes for morning after packing till 3AM): Wake up, fueled by questionable coffee and the vague promise of adventure. Scour through every packing check list. Remember the passport? Panic. Find passport, discover that one of your passport photos is an absolute disgrace (it's a competition: which of us has a worst photo?). Pack the rest of the luggage after a lot of back talking and arguments. Finally, the car is packed and ready.
- Afternoon: Train to Amsterdam. Get lost at Amsterdam Centraal. "Why are there so many bikes?!" Buy a stroopwafel from a street vendor – immediate fuel for the Dutch adventure. Get to Hindeloopen by car. The closer you get to the town, the more you realize, wow, it is small.
- Late Afternoon: Arrive at the former school. Key fumbling ensues (always). Expectation: cozy, charming. Reality: Big. Like, ridiculously big. "Did they hold the entire school in this house?" Initial reaction: awe, followed by: "Where's the bathroom?!" Immediately run around like a toddler on a sugar rush, checking out all the rooms. Find a room with a view. It's an instant hit.
- Evening: Unpack. Sort of. More like, dump everything, then survey the carnage. Dinner at the holiday home. Trying to cook. Discover that our cooking skills are questionable at best. Probably undercook something. Scramble for ketchup.
Day 2: All Things Hindeloopen (And Maybe a Boat Trip)
- Morning: Explore Hindeloopen! Wander the canals. "Is everyone Dutch? Do they only eat cheese?" Take way too many pictures of the colorful houses. Marvel at the fact that the town seems untouched by time. It’s like stepping into a postcard, but a real postcard, one that you can touch and smell—wait, what does Hindeloopen smell like?
- Afternoon: Boat trip! Embrace the nautical life. Pretend to know how to sail. Probably almost capsize. Try to impress the boat crew (or not?). Panic when a seagull gets too close. "Is that a poop cannon?!"
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Return to Hindeloopen, possibly seasick, but definitely charmed. Snack time. Find the best bakery in town, and try everything, of course. Do some serious people-watching in the town's cutest café. Get lost in the little streets, then, decide to get a beer.
- Evening:Dinner at the holiday home. Cooking skills still questionable. Watch the sunset over the IJsselmeer from the ridiculously big windows. "This is what dreams are made of!" Or maybe that's just the beer talking.
Day 3: Water, Windmills and Dutchy Stuff
- Morning: Drive to a nearby windmill. "It’s so… windy!" Discover the amazing world of windmills and their function. If you have guts, take a cycling trip. Cycling around the windmill. The ride is all about the view.
- Afternoon: Picnic by the canals, Dutch-style. Pack way too much food. Laugh until our stomachs hurt.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Check out a local museum. Maybe the Hindeloopen museum (duh!). Marvel at the traditional costumes. "They look so warm! (I want one!). Buy some souvenirs. The most ridiculous ones possible.
- Evening: One last stroll through town. Take a final deep breath of Hindeloopen air (still trying to decide what it smells like). Prepare for departure.
Day 4: Departure and the Aftermath
- Morning: Awaken to the reality of leaving this wonderland. Clean the holiday home. (Note: "Clean" may be a generous term.)
- Afternoon: Travel back to Amsterdam. Another possible adventure with the train. Saying goodbye to the Netherlands…
- Evening: Final meal in Amsterdam. Reflect on the chaos, the beauty, the questionable cooking, and the amazing company. Discuss our favorite moments, which will probably be some of the most stupid ones.
- Night: Home. Collapse in bed. Smell the memories. Start planning the next adventure from the comfort of your own home.
Important Considerations (aka, the things that will probably go wrong):
- Language Barrier: I am not fluent in Dutch. Expect a lot of charades, pointing, and giggling.
- Navigation: I have a terrible sense of direction. We will get lost. Multiple times.
- Food: I'll try everything (and probably fail in the kitchen). Be prepared for a lot of cheese, bread, and possibly some questionable street food choices.
- Weather: Dutch weather is unpredictable. Pack for everything: sunshine, rain, wind, and possibly a small blizzard.
- Emotional Rollercoaster: Expect moments of pure joy, followed by existential crises about the meaning of life (usually triggered by a particularly beautiful sunset).
This is not just a trip; it's an experience. A messy, beautiful, chaotic, and possibly slightly traumatizing one. But hey, that's what makes it memorable, right? Right?! Wish us luck… we’ll need it.
Frejus Beachfront Paradise: Stunning Apartment w/ Dishwasher!
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Holiday in a Historic Dutch Schoolhouse! (Okay, Maybe…) FAQs
So, uh... "Escape to Paradise" sounds a bit... much. Is it *actually* paradise?
Alright, let's be real. Paradise? Look, it's a stunning old Dutch schoolhouse. Think charming brick, wonky windows, and a garden that begs you to lose a whole afternoon in. *Paradise*? Depends what you're after. If your idea of heaven involves perfectly manicured lawns and a butler named Jeeves, probably not. If it's tranquil beauty, history oozing from every creaky floorboard, and the chance to *actually* disconnect... possibly.
I'll tell you a story: I arrived, expecting Insta-worthy perfection. First day, I tripped over a cobblestone (damn those things!) and nearly spilled my perfectly brewed coffee. The *perfectly* manicured hedges? A bit overgrown, in a "rustic charm" kind of way. Then, the sunrise hit the windows... and honestly? It was breathtaking. So, paradise? Subjective, but worth a shot. Just bring comfy shoes for those cobblestones. And maybe a sense of humor. You'll need it.
What's the deal with the schoolhouse history? Is it haunted? Because I HATE ghosts.
The schoolhouse is *ancient*, like, "Dutch Golden Age" ancient. Apparently, kids learned their ABCs here, huddled around a stove. And yes, it's steeped in history. I tried to find out more, did some digging, and the stories are fascinating, but... haunted? Look, I *swear* I heard a giggle one night. Just a tiny one. Could’ve been the wind. Or the ridiculously old window rattling. Or my imagination running wild because, you know… old building, dark night.
Okay, look, I’m a total scaredy-cat. I sleep with a nightlight. So, if it's haunted, they're polite ghosts. Very quiet. Didn't bother me too much, just a bit of a tingle on the back of the neck the first night. Bring a friend, just in case. Or a really good book. Or a very large bottle of wine.
What's the accommodation like? Is it luxurious or...rustic?
Let's say it's *characterful*. Think comfy, not necessarily couture. It's not the Ritz. There's a cozy fireplace, a kitchen crammed with old-fashioned charm (and a fridge that may or may not have seen better days - but it works!), and bedrooms that are... well, bedrooms.
Here's the thing. I was expecting sleek modern. Instead, it's all old beams, wonky floors (again with the wonky!), and a shower that takes a little *time* to get the temperature right. But... the *charm*. Seriously. I spent a whole afternoon just staring at the way the light filtered through the dust motes in the living room. And the beds? Heavenly. I slept like a log every night. Maybe the ghosts were comfy too?
Prepare for rustic, embrace the charming, and you'll be golden. Expecting perfection? You'll be disappointed. Seeking genuine, quirky beauty? You'll be in heaven!
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, you know, the world is connected, and I need to post my pictures to Instagram.
Yes, there *is* Wi-Fi. But here is a more honest and less robotic answer. It exists, sure. But it's… let's call it *temperamental*. You're there to escape, right? To soak up the silence, listen to the birds, and maybe, just maybe, *not* spend your entire holiday glued to a screen?
Honestly, the lack of a super-fast internet connection was a *blessing*. I *had* to disconnect (forced, but hey, still counts). I read a book. I actually *talked* to the people I was with. I stared at the stars (they were insane btw!). It was pure bliss. Okay, sure, I missed the occasional cat video, but trust me, the world didn’t end. My Instagram feed might have suffered slightly, but my mental health, let's just say it really did improve.
What's the surrounding area like? Is there anything to *do*? I get bored easily.
Is there stuff to do? Ummm, YES. It’s a bit of a mixed bag, to be honest. But the area is pretty amazing… if you like, you know, *actual* nature.
There are charming villages to wander through – each one with its own quirky little bakeries selling weird and wonderful cakes. The kind of cakes that are so good, you forget all about calorie counting! There are cycle paths that snake through fields of… well, Dutch fields. The kind of landscapes that make you want to yodel (don't yodel, you’ll scare the cows!). There are canals, perfect for a scenic boat ride (renting a boat turned out to be harder than I thought, btw - another story for another time!).
But it's not a city break, got it? There's no theme park on the doorstep. It's about slowing down, breathing in the fresh air, and, if you're lucky, finding something you'll never forget. Like that incredible sunset over the... okay, I'm rambling. It’s a beautiful place, just embrace it. And for the love of all that is holy, bring good walking shoes and a camera. You'll thank me later.
Is it family-friendly? I have small children.
Hmm. This is a tricky one. The schoolhouse is *charming*, yes, but maybe not *ideally* suited for tiny terrors. There are stairs (steep ones!), wonky floors, and a garden that, while beautiful, has a (probably poisonous) plant or two. And you know kids: they'll find the most dangerous thing to play with.
I'm not saying it's impossible. It's beautiful. The garden is great for running around. But, if you have toddlers who like to explore EVERYTHING, keep a very close eye on them. And I mean, like, *eyes-glued-to-them* close.
Older kids? Potentially perfect. There's room to run around, games, and an atmosphere that promotes imagination. But with little ones? Proceed with caution. And maybe bring a first-aid kit. Seriously.
What about food? Is there a supermarket nearby?
Yes, there's a supermarket. And a bakery. And a… well, you get the idea. You're not entirely stranded. But it's not exactly right around the corner. You'll need a car (you *do* need a car, unless you fancy walking for miles, which is fine, but... not ideal).
I suggest stocking up a bitBoutique Inns
